My Nonagenarian Mother
At the birth of my first daughter, mum was beside me at
the hospital and the moment Grace was born she exclaimed “It’s a girl !”.
Mum confessed that it pierced her heart a little for it
would mean Grace would have to go through the same pangs during childbirth. It
evoked a nostalgic sentiment to realise the truth behind the statement. But
what about the joy of motherhood? Surely it is also a privilege that men do not
have.
Mum is a strong and determined lady always acknowledging
the fact that all her daughters need to go to school and learn the basics of
education for an easier life in their adulthood. Mum firmly concedes that
without education girls will not get commendable life partners. How does a girl
get the affirmation and respect from her in laws if she does not do well in
school? Mum really sounds old but it is a good lesson for I am also of one
accord with her. We qualify our girls
for the best to happen within our capacity and let the rest in God’s hands.
Mum though originated from China, is modern in thoughts
and actions. She is convinced that daughters be given the same status and
treatment as her sons both in education and properties. She walks the talk as
all she believes in are seen by her offspring today. She seems fair to all. So
there goes the unequal treatment of sons and daughters in Chinese homes. This
is indeed a commendable practice in the midst of unfounded conventions. Today
her girls are doing just as well as her boys. Thanks to mum and her insistence
that all her children should be equally treated.
Like a tiger, mum protects her cubs with security and
love. Among her offspring there are a couple who truly sent her up and down the
doldrums. Mum would hop on to a trishaw and even in the middle of the night go
round looking for them when they were not back home on time. Correct a child
from stubborn traits or you may end up having to correct the same mistakes over
and over again. They say old habits die hard; maybe they do not even die.
Believe me, Mother is still doing the correction till this day. Her children
remain at the stage she always remembers them; in her eyes they never grow up
and her protective instincts continue till this day.
Mum, the typical Teo Chew gracious lady is also one who
is house proud. For this there is no compromise. Her house till this day stands
spick and span and she always reminds her daughters to make their own beds
after a sleep. Seldom can you find her kitchen not in order and her kitchen
towels are fit to wash one’s face. She will stack all her towels in good order
for easy use. This really puts us to shame.
Her clean habits we had to emulate as little kids. We
were not allowed to go to bed without first being in our pajamas and our feet
washed. Night after night we would gather at the bathroom to have our bodies
washed and powdered. The 6 of us would then go to bed neat and clean. Well, I
do practise this as all my girls are well washed before bed time and powdered
too. I wonder if my daughters will pass down this tradition. It is a practice
worth keeping.
This is a photo of 4 generations.
That is my mother with my daughter, Grace and her great, great granddaughter, Emily.
Well, there are many more worth mentioning practices of my mum but again I
need to recall.
My mother may be dogmatic in her ways but her values are
sincere and genuine.
Next better read again.
Mdm Chong
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